Good news

... is awesome. I think some may be coming my way, but I'm not ready to say much yet. :::big grin:::

One more week of work left, then it's time to shove off and charter new waters. Well, as new as old stuff can be- it's MCAT studying with gusto, class, and family life, without the distraction and time commitment of work.

I can't wait. :-)

Tonight Mechanic Jr. has his Meet-n-Greet with the teachers and an opportunity to learn the new math curriculum that they will be learning. I feel guilty because I won't be going- I have class. So while I'm learning about chemistry, my son will be going to open house with his dad, eating yummy ice cream and showing off his recent work. That's one of the very real pitfalls of being a mom and a student- you have to make choices between school and family sometimes. Thankfully since Mechanic Jr. is looping (going from one grade to the next with the same teacher), I already know her and her curriculum, so this was an okay decision for me and my son. But I'm sure that there will be extremely tough ones in the future, particularly when it comes to holidays.

It makes me incredibly grateful that I have a supportive (and flexible) husband, and even extended family nearby. When I think of the friends I've met along the way, the ones who drop out and don't pursue their dreams of med school are those with unsupportive spouses and families. You just have to have the people closest to you be supportive. You just do. If they aren't, well, you have a very, very rough road ahead of you.

Memories

(I'm well versed in HIPAA, so any stories about patients happened a long time ago in the land of Narnia. Meaning I probably made them up.)

I used to volunteer in a community clinic where most of our patients spoke Spanish. Over time I learned enough Spanish to get by, particularly the phrase, "Necesita un traductor?" Learning this question arose from necessity, as when I would ask, "Do you need a translator", I was met with two answers: 'no', or a sweet smile and shrugging shoulders. One time I asked a patient this question, and he smiled, shrugged, and answered, "I don't know."

I would say that's a yes.

MCAT studying summary

Up to this point I have read chapter one in the TBR physics, gen chem, and (nearly finished) ochem. I have done 12 verbal passages, doing fairly well in all of them, and bombed the passages in physics. I did okay in the gen chem passages, and haven't started yet on the ochem passages.

I think it's weird that I did so poorly on the physics section, as I did really well in my physics classes, and none of the material in the chapter was unfamiliar. But then physics has always been my weak spot, so more studying will need to be focused here.

Since I don't have large chunks of time to set aside for studying for another two weeks, I am doing problems in the 1001 books in the relevant sections. I have done pretty darn well on these problems, so I'm even more stumped on my poor physics performance.

According to the SN2ed 4-month schedule, I am technically ahead of schedule. But I need to tie up some loose ends, having not completed all of the relevant passages yet. Last night I kept my promise to myself and did more physics passages.

Haha, no I didn't. I was too wrapped up in the Seahawks/Packers debacle. I'll give it the old college try again this evening.

Senioritis and the MCAT

I will be leaving my job soon and will be able to begin studying for the MCAT like normal crazy person. My last day is in a couple weeks, at which point I can begin my new daily schedule. I've tried studying recently and it just isn't working. I keep telling myself, "I'll begin tomorrow. Or the day after that. Or in November." I initially thought the diagnosis was Procrastination, but as time goes by, it's more apparent it's Senioritis.

I feel like I can't mentally move onto my "new life" (of being unemployed and able to study ad nauseum) until the "old life" is dead and buried. Unfortunately, I should be starting the MCAT schedule today with The Berkeley Review, specifically in physics. Gotta get moving!

Today I will attempt to do some problems from TBR, physics chapter one.

Scratch that-

Today I will attempt to do some problems from TBR, physics chapter one.

Working out... is my social phobia

So I'm a big fraidy cat of some things- bees, open bodies of water, really tall bridges, etc. But I'm also afraid of something weird...

Jims.

No wait, I mean gyms. Yes, I'm very weird and am massively intimidated by gyms. I was very athletic in softball from toddlerhood to adulthood, but I was never a gym rat. Working out in a gym petrifies me- I don't know the routines, the written rules, the unwritten rules, the expectations, the cultural norms, the language, etc. I joined a gym as a normal person at the normal age of 22 and tried working out, but I just wound up loving the idea of going to gym instead of making it a reality. Fast forward more than a decade and my body is lumpier, less pliable, and hell, I'll say it, just plain ugly. I also have a horribly embarrassing condition where my face turns bright red at the simplest exertion. (I had an aerobics teacher pull me aside one day and ask if she should call 911, or if I wanted to try the remedial class.) Needless to say, I'm scared of gyms.

Why does this matter? Because I decided to face my fear head on- I enrolled in a PE class at school. I had no idea schools even offered PE, so I was super stoked to relive my childhood (trampolines, here I come!) You get an actual grade and credit for working out, plus free personal training, so why the hell wouldn't I sign up?

Oh yeah, my fear.

Just mustering up the courage to attend the orientation felt like I was trying to talk myself into jumping off the Sears Tower without a bungee cord. But I showed up, complete with other students in the class- athletic young girls, thin 18-year old girls, muscular guys, and even svelte ultra-fabulous guys.

I felt really, really out of place. One of the girls was reading the exercise waiver they give you and she snorted, "Are you 65 or over? Pfft, who would be in here?!" I slunk down a bit with each peal of their laughter. Granted I'm not 65 (or near it) but its stuff like that that makes me feel self-conscious. I couldn't help but take glances at myself in the wall-o-mirrors, and I picked out every single flaw in my appearance. The instuctional video detailing the ins and outs of the class was kind enough to include a not-20-year-old student also exercising (lookie- old people can do it too!) but she was using the rehab machines they make people with brittle bones and head injuries use. Bleh.

But I need any credit I can get, and easy A's are at the top of the list. My next baby step goal in this class is to sign up for personal training so I can learn how to use the weight machines. I don't want to wind up in the painter's scaffolding thinking I'm blasting my quads.

 

Choosing Wisely

After listening to the teacher ramble on this evening about the most elementary of chemistry topics (did you know that atoms are made of three components?!) I was thinking of the rest of my past professors. Pretty much all of them were truly great, and one was mind-blowingly awesome- actually taught me how to understand and *really like* organic chemistry. But the reason I have few horror stories about professors is because I pick my classes by their online reviews.

Case in point- I was doing some last-minute registration for biology classes and I didn't think to read the reviews before registering. As a pre-med, loving biology is part of my DNA, so I wasn't too worried about getting a poor biology teacher. Big mistake.

On the first day of class this professor talked about nothing except... himself. "Me, me, mee.... and I've done this... and that... I'm the best teacher you've ever had... memememememe... no one teaches better than me... meeee, meeeeeeeee, MMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!" He would launch into personal stories at the drop of a hat, telling us how he met Lance Armstrong, owned a luxury home in the mountains, and again, how lucky all of us were to be basking in the presence of him, an actual demi-god of higher education.

At the end of class I tried to talk to him about the rigors of the class, to see if I would be over-extending myself that quarter. I was planning on asking about tests, homeworks, the final, and practicals. I say planned on asking because I never had a chance to get a word in edgewise. I started the conversation with, "Can you explain the schedule for the tests?" and yet when it left my mouth it must have sounded like, "Can you explain again and again why you're such an awesome teacher? I need more validation and examples, please." Somewhere between listening to how the dean of the college was a fool for not making him head of the department after two years of teaching and how he created the best non-credit program in the history of the school, I decided I could not take this tool's class. I dropped it while walking to my car.

I checked the online reviews later that evening, and found one low review after another about how he talks constantly about himself, flirts with the young girls (!) and fails to cover all the material required. Considering his class was physiology and biochem, I kind of think that's important to know.

 

First night of class

Class is back in session.

Yay.

This teacher is exactly as I remember her- convincing you that this class will be a cake-walk, no pressure, you'll love it, etc, but it's all a rouse to disarm you. The first test is like crossing the street- you'll expect to dodge cars, probably a quick motorcycle here and there, but when you step up to the light, *BAM*. Nothing but semi's. Pulling boats. Being driven by drunk 4 year olds. ("Since when do we need to know derivatives to balance equations?!")

This is the first night class I've taken where the class has a pretty high ratio of youngin's to the gomers. And of course it wouldn't be complete without the incompetent douchebag know-it-all ("Uh, the third orbital shell does NOT have a 'd' orbital", sitting back, crossing his arms waiting for praise, and being surprised by the incredulous looks) and the starry-eyed pre-meds listening to the prom king about his med school application status.

Thankfully I've moved beyond that crap. (But if you're really interested, he's taking a quarter of easiness while waiting to be admitted. Slacker.)

MCAT Studying Week 1

...did not quite go as planned. Neither did week 2. I'm about 3 days into my 2 weeks of studying. But I'm doing well on those few days I did get in. I got through the first chapters of physics and gen chem, and did about 20 verbal passages. I didn't do so hot on the physics questions, but I did okay on the gen chem. I'd really like to improve massively on both, but I'm not discouraged or depressed about where my knowledge and ability lies. It's a little hard to focus on studying when you're trying to come to grips with being broke.

My class starts this week, so now I'll be juggling school, mcat, and work for at least three full weeks. Here's hoping I can get as much done as I need to.

Needed motivators

I'm not an endless sea of good tidings and positive thinking- sometimes I too lustfully wish to smash my car into the idiot in front of me who lacks the sense to move over from the fast lane whilst traveling at 10 miles below the speed limit. Or to brain the inconsiderate jerk without the common decency to utter a mere two words of appreciation when I remain holding a door so he may pass. So in order to keep my blood pressure awesome and my criminal record clean, I like reading Confucius quotes:

1. It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop.
2. Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in getting up every time we do.
3. All good things are difficult to achieve and bad things are very easy to get.
4. The will to win, the desire to succeed, the urge to reach your full potential... these are the keys that will unlock the door to personal excellence.

And my favorite:

 

 

This tidbit is proving handy while studying for the MCAT. I reinforce the knowledge of my ignorance every day.

Dreaded Prof I've seen before

I'm taking a gen chem class this quarter with a teacher I am not a fan of. I had this professor for o-chem, and while I wouldn't say she was the worst teacher I've ever had, I will say every single other teacher I've had was better than her. Every. single. one. I've only written one negative review for those in-class evaluations and it was bestowed upon this teacher, Professor Lazy.

Our homework is online and the exams are written by the interwebz. No office hours, no emails answered, and she's never available before or after class. Lab times are a joke, because she reads the lab to us (are we in kindergarten?) and then leaves. To make it worse, her teaching style is non-existent- she "teaches" by asking questions. How is that helpful?

Prof Lazy: This here is a double bond. Do you think it is stronger or weaker than single bonds?
*crickets*
Prof Lazy: What do you think?
*low murmuring of indecipherable words*
Prof Lazy: Hmm?
Class: mumbling of both yes and no
Prof Lazy: Yes, that's right. Now this here is a triple bond- is it stronger...

What? What's right? No one said anything! They just mumbled "yes" and "no"! Which is the right answer? And why is it stronger? The bloody hell!

If anyone else was teaching this class, I would have taken it with them, even if their degree was in Speech Communications. But no, I'm limited to Prof Lazy and her insane exams. You see, the hazard with not writing your own tests is that the exam you find on the internet may or may not include material you have actually "lectured" on. Thankfully this isn't a problem for Prof Lazy, for she just figures we should know that information empirically. At least the test is open book and notes. Thank God for small favors.

Losing a piece of me

I'm slowly coming to grips with losing the piece of my identity which was my career. It was much more than a job- it was my life. I graduated college, picked one wonderful company, and established myself as a successful scientist. I certainly have marketable skills and (hopefully) can land another job soon. (But I find myself grappling with the idea of whether or not I want to, what with this teeny tiny goal of becoming a doctor and all.)

The only time I have been unemployed since I was 12 was for two weeks after moving to a new state for college. I feel a bit lost here. I hope to be starting a SMP next summer, in about 9 to 11 months- should I just find a part-time job that has benefits and I can swap the FT work and PT schooling to PT work and FT schooling? Or should I remain in the mindset that I MUST work FT in order to be "successful"? (But most importantly, can I not call myself a scientist if I'm not paid or employed?)

And that in-lies my problem. I liked "doing it all". It was really hard but I enjoyed the challenge. I liked having that much responsibility on my shoulders. It made me feel alive. Others may enjoy sky-diving, fire-walking, or mob-killings as adventure sports, but I liked being over-scheduled and over-extended. It gave me pride. (Hence the only reason I am totally perfect for med school.)

I have applied to over a dozen jobs, ranging the gamut from temporary part-time to full-time with expected overtime. In other words, I threw everything at the kitchen wall to see what sticks. I hope I get at least one or two interviews and an offer. But a large of chunk of me wants to see what it's like to be just a student again, living off loans and credit cards (and retirement savings too- I am a bonafide adult, ya know), and seeing where this year takes me. (Hopefully it just won't take me to the poorhouse.)

9/11

I think everyone remembers where they were when 9/11 happened. I was awoken by my mom with a phone call telling me to watch the news. I watched the second tower fall live. I had no idea that there were people in that tower at first- I just turned on the news and had assumed the building had been evacuated. I was paralyzed with cold when I realized I had witnessed people die in an act of terrorism on US soil.

When I arrived to work I felt weird just carrying on with my day as if nothing happened. Lots of other people were on autopilot- wrapped in their research, most likely trying to keep a normal day in the most abnormal of days. But on the surface it seemed they didn't care. In my limited life experience (I had only graduated college a few years prior) they seemed cold. But how do you "properly" grieve people you don't know and can't physically help?

I'm not from NYC, nor do I know anyone from the area. But I felt a loss, as these were fellow Americans. My brother-in-law is a pilot and I immediately thought of him. I felt like I was in a stupor for days, worrying if there would be an attack in my town (I lived in a major city that was put on high alert). I remember my best friend telling me life would never be the same again. He was right.

Benefits of losing your job in a month

• No one really expects anything of you anymore.
• You aren't required to go to meetings.
• If you don't show up, what are they going to do about it?
• Those who weren't laid off tiptoe around you.
• Screw company policy- I'm wearing flip flops and jeans.
• You don't have to listen to your co-worker's loud, annoying text notification (that they never, ever feel the need to turn down, regardless if the traffic cop down the street can hear it too.)
• You don't have to listen to their loud phone conversations either.
• Hours and hours of Hulu, Pinterest, and TelevisionWithoutPity.
• Time to plan your future the way you like it.

I hope that this happening is a good thing, otherwise I may get bitter and start drinking like Marge. At least my heart will be happy for the phytochemicals.

"I know doctors say you should drink a glass and a half, but I can’t drink that much."

Which one are you?

 

Contrary to popular belief, I'm quite certain I am neither the Part time Student Full time Mom, nor the Back to School Granny.

 

Embarrassingly, I am The Curve Wrecker. I have personally experienced every one of these except Emo, Van Wilder, and Picasso (but then I'm not taking many Art or General Studies classes either.) My last lab mate was a combo of Little Miss Potato Chip and Bumble Bee. She was sheer joy.

Particular to certain writing utensils

I think every serious student has a pen/pencil that they love. And being a science student, you usually need various colors to accurately take notes. But you need something eraseable otherwise your notes are full of scribbles and crossed-out crap (or at least mine are.) I've tried colored pens, colored pencils, crayons, markers, Magic Markers, blood of a virgin, etc, but nothing compares to an actual mechanical pencil. Unfortunately, there are no reliable mechanical colored leads. Sure you can buy Pentel leads in blue and red, but they are so fragile that you can't take notes. They break after every letter.

Me: O-r-g-
Pencil: *snap*
Me: Dang it! *click click* a-n-i-
Pencil: *snap*
Me: For God's sake! *click click* c-M-
Pencil: *snap*
Me: F...!

I wished for eraseable colored fine pencils, or even better, eraseable colored fine pens. In the early 80's PaperMate came out with the first-generation eraseable pens called EraserMate. I was so excited to try them but after using them once, I was more disappointed than the day I realized that Mel Gibson was a racist. They had these concrete gray erasers that tore through the paper if you tried to erase anything. And the dang ink didn't come off anyway, since it clumped like blood clots when you wrote.

So imagine my skepticism when I got this recently as a freebie in my pen pack: the FriXion Eraseable Highlighter. A highlighter that erases? Whatever. (I held both my hands up in a "W" shape to an audience of no one.) But omg, it actually erases. I couldn't believe it. Mouth agape, I slapped my cheek in mock surprise.

Being energized but still cautious, I searched to see if they made pens. I've been burned before, so I didn't get my hopes up too high when I found a black FriXion pen at my local store. And immediately I fell in love with a new pen. I haven't felt that much love towards an inanimate object since Comedy Central bought the rights to MST3K from the Sci-Fi channel. I own this set of pens and couldn't be happier. (Although perhaps this pen would be better suited to my feminine needs. The comments already fulfill my need for snark.)

And a bonus for those with children or those with just a magic side- they act as invisible ink pens. Heat removes the writing and cold restores it. Awesome!

Juggling- its not just for clowns anymore

I had written this before getting laid off. It'll be interesting to see how it changes when I finish out my time.

My daily schedule is a bit arduous, but I think fairly typical for working moms who go to school. A given day during the week is as follows:

6:00am - up and out the door
6:30am - work
2:30pm - time for school!
3:00pm - MCAT studying
5:30pm - Class until 7:45
8:00pm - home; dinner, family time, tv time, catching up time, etc.
10:00pm - Mechanic Jr bedtime
10:10 - 12:00 or later - more homework

Rinse and repeat. Except for the days that I have no class, which in that case I take Mechanic Jr to school and work about 9 to 5. I come home, spend time with the family, and am immersed in school work and MCAT stuff for most of the evening. Weekends I play catch up with schooling and house work. I do laundry and bathrooms, Mr. Mechanic does dishes and other chores. If Mechanic Jr. has swimming, band, etc, I do those on my evenings off if I'm not in class.

Mr. Mechanic is also a student and a stay-at-home dad. I am the only breadwinner in the family, hence my reason for not quitting work and persuing school full time. My job survived the economic downturn- his did not. I couldn't do what I do without him. He cooks all the meals, makes lunches, does homework with Jr., picks him up from school, drops him off on my class days, etc. If you are a mother thinking about med school, you need a support system in place. You cannot do this alone. Even if you are a single mom, you need someone who is always there for you, who understands your needs, and is wholly supportive of them.

One of my favorite blogs is married momof3 medschool2004 by TexasRose on MomMd. She has long since quit blogging, but her story covers medical school through the near end of her residency. She shows just how hard and possible juggling a family and school can be.

I always want to look on the bright side

Sometimes life gets in the way of where you want to go. In college it was my illness. In the present day it could be my family, my job, my bills, my mortgage, my crushing depression about being 10 lbs heavier than in high school, etc. There's always something that can derail you.

Today it could be my lay-off notice. After giving 14 years to the same company I am being laid-off. So it goes in the scientific world. Grants don't get funded, funding gets cut, cuts to personnel. You know the drill. This could be devastating, since as I haven't mentioned it before, I am the breadwinner. Now there are two of us unemployed. That doesn't work very well when you built a life years ago with a six-figure salary.

I haven't cried yet, but I'm sure I will. I'm angry, but there's no one to take the blame. So you suck it up and pretend it's all going to be okay.

"This is the worst day of my life."

You can't just throw away any attachment you have to a job that you love, no matter how much you want to march down to Washington and throttle the NIH for tossing aside a quarter of a century's worth of work in research. I'll miss my routine, my co-workers, my desk, my little shelf in the fridge that no one else used because they knew it was mine, etc. I'll miss a lot of things, but mostly I'll miss that damn paycheck and medical insurance.

(I won't get into ObamaCare and all that, but suffice to say, Republicans and any opposers are idiots. In order to keep COBRA I need to pay out $1100 a month. That's totally do-able on unemployment. What I can afford is catastrophic insurance where anything less than an arm falling off isn't covered.)


Like I said, idiots.

Regardless, what's done is done. Now I need to look past the crushing fear of losing my house, having a catastrophic health problem in our family, or defaulting on my bills, and move onto the bright side. And if you'll notice the trend, they all revolve around my favorite things I wasn't able to do with a daily distraction.

• I can study all day for the MCAT!
• I'm not limited to night classes anymore!
• I can go shopping! (no, wait, I can't do that.)
• I can go WINDOW shopping! (that's lame. won't do that.)
• I can read for fun!
• I can drop Mechanic Jr. off at school AND pick him up!
• I won't have to fight between school and family anymore!
• Maybe I'll put on makeup and work out! (nahhh.)

The point is that I'm seeing this as a silver lining. I'm still looking for a job, as is Mr. Mechanic (because we're not idiots, we know money won't grow on that money tree we planted in the backyard. It has to grow bigger first.) But I am not letting this derail me. I am still heading in the same direction, perhaps not even slowed down one bit.

Stereotypes

As a woman in the sciences, I understand that overall we're a homely lot. The only time I have on makeup at work is when I forget to take it off from the evening before. In fact, my beauty routine consists of only wrinkle cream and hair dye, and I'm sure the same goes for 90% of my female co-workers. We rarely dress up, do our hair, and are routinely mistaken for men if prime time tv is any authority on the subject.

"But you call Becky 'sport'."



I've noticed that the same nonchalance towards style is present in the majors science classes. Sure, when class starts there are always a few girls who try their hardest, but the sheer oppression of the class always gets to them, and the first thing to hit the bench is the morning dress-up routine.

I hope one day to not skip directly to End of Semester.

So when I see a woman with makeup applied with a trowel, fake boobs the size of a late alphabet letter, and no less than four Bump-Its in her hair, she definitely stands out. (It could have been her 5 inch wedge heels or skin-tight spandex uniform, but something caught my attention.)



(This foul-mouthed Dave Chappelle video may or may not be relevant. And irreverent.)

I couldn't get Sesame Street's "One of these things is doing it's own thing" song out of my head for days. She definitely stood out, not only in an advanced physics class, but on the planet Earth in general. Every day she showed up looking like either a professional model or a high-price call girl. I was truly impressed that she had so much time to dedicate to her appearance until I learned she was only auditing the class and hadn't completed a single homework assignment or exam. I thought the room seemed a bit less slutty on test days.



Welcome, wipe your feet at the door. Or don't, it's a mess anyway.

With the first school bell the stress is on. It didn't even take one lousy day! I was supposed to fill out Mechanic Jr.'s emergency contact card (which is stupid considering it doesn't change from year to year- we should have the option to keep the old card, and sign it as updated or something) and if he returns it the next morning, he gets a prize.

Guess who didn't fill it out?

Sheesh. Already I'm behind. Just looking around the house I can make a list of a dozen things that needs to get done. And the MCAT studying is just not working as I'd hoped. I can't seem to find the proper time to study without spending hours learning only a handful of pages. And I'm not learning this stuff for the first time, I'm just reinforcing it. I don't want to be away from home any more than I have to, so I'm still sticking with the home studying. Jr likes to hang out right before bed and watch tv, get caught up on the day, play on the computer with me, etc. After that relaxing time he goes to bed, which usually translates to me going to bed too. Methinks I may have to get up early and use a few hours that way and see if it works.

I feel like such a failure some days because my haunting sense for doing what "I should be doing" kicks into overdrive. I should be studying more. I should be spending time with the family more. I should be exercising. I should be trying to at least brush my hair before leaving the house. I should eat breakfast. I should wash the sheets (I've become way too close to the crumbs that wedge their way in between my toes at night. We understand each other.) I should cook more dinners instead of relying on frozen veggie patties and french fries. I should, I should, I should.

It never ends. Everyone has a finite amount of time and energy to spend on whatever they want. I spend mine on work, school, family, and sleeping, definitely not necessarily in that order. That leaves just about zero time for cooking, cleaning, primping, watching tv, scrapbooking, exercising, reading (for leisure! the horrors!), and all kinds of other things that non-med-school-bound people do. Hell, I'm having a terrible time trying to find a way to be without my car so the dang oil can be changed.

So this morning I felt like a failure because I didn't fill out the emergency card, didn't study as much last night as I wanted to, left the house looking like Gollum, and didn't wake up early to exercise and study because I was too tired from not sleeping last night because I was tossing and turning with guilt and worry.

Welcome to motherhood in school.

Guess I'll hand in my Best Mom Ever card now

Growing up, I remember my mom telling me things like, "I don't care if Janie has a gun, we don't have things like that in our house." I remember thinking that Cool Janie got a firearm (and probably hollow-point bullets), but I had nothing. It wasn't until I had children of my own that I realized this wasn't aimed at telling us kids what we aren't allowed to have, it was aimed at the other parents, passive-aggressively pointing out their crappy parenting.

I was at a party chatting with my son's friends' mothers about what tv shows our kids watch, and I mentioned that my son likes to watch The Fairly OddParents. (I like it too- good ole Norm, granting those annoying wishes.) Anyway, one kid in the group asks his mom why he can't watch it too. His mom replies, "I don't care what Mechanic Jr's mom lets him watch, we don't watch shows like that."

And that's when I realized that her comment wasn't aimed at her cherub offspring, but at horrible ole me.

Now if you don't mind, I'll be sitting over here in the corner watching Invader Zim and The Simpsons while reading chemistry.

How not to make new friends at college

I know college is hard. Socially, I mean. Educationally, community college is the laughingstock of the advanced education world. I'm a wee bit older than the average CC student (ok, I'm old enough to be someone's mother), which means that I've lived a life beyond the classroom and have learned how to survive in the real world. I've picked up some coping mechanisms to deal with other Homo sapiens, so if you're a young gunner pre-med, let me pass some advice onto you.

You see, in the regular world, people are not impressed by youngsters coming in and bragging that they got somewhere quicker than everyone else. It's kind of annoying. It's showing us oldies that you are smarter, more apt, more able than we are, and that we are obsolete. And that them's fightin' words, regardless if you are 18 or 80. So if you are a high school student taking 2nd year science classes at CC with other folks plenty older than yourself, please do not introduce yourself to the class as, "I'm Smarty Pants, I'm still in high school, and once I finish this class series, I graduate high school and CC at the same time!"

You will not make one single friend, especially when everyone else simply introduced themselves as Tom, Dick, or Harry, including the other high school student in the same program you are. And college is hard enough without having people hate you for your poor social skills.

St. Elsewhere

I was born in the time of disco and grew up in the Cold War era. I studied a new-fangled technology called "DNA Fingerprinting" in high school and remember when smoking on airplanes was de rigeur. Life has changed very rapidly during my generation. I'm not waxing poetic, I'm simply stating the truth- I didn't grow up with a cell phone, caller ID, or CDs. All those came long after I was legally allowed to smoke my first cigarette at 16. (There was a designated smoking section at my high school and it wasn't behind the bleachers.)



I'm sure most of the current pre-meds in college have never bought a cassette tape at a record store, needed to find a pay phone, or even worse, needed to use a pay phone, but didn't have a dime. So the idea of not smoking in a hospital, not using gloves for every exam, and not having a digital thermometer are very foreign concepts. Want to see how it was done in my day and age? Watch St. Elsewhere.

If you've seen House, Grey's Anatomy, ER, or Chicago Hope, you've seen St. Elsewhere. Except you haven't seen the nurses wearing those ridiculous paper hats, an EKG machine using blurry green dot LED displays, or minorities being more scarce than a parking spot on the first day of class. I was watching St. Elsewhere for the upteenth time the other day (don't judge, I love watching shows that I've seen a thousand times before), and you know what stood out most to me? Not the fear of the bare-handed phlebotomist getting HIV, or the nurse demurely answering "Yes Doctor" whenever someone barked at her, it was the lack of a computer for patient records. They were reading off these ultra-thin, flimsy parchments called "folders" filled with "paper", where you could just write on them, as if they were an iPad. Very weird.

If you have a spare couple of hours, watch some episodes of St. Elsewhere. In spite of the dated decor, it's very well-acted, replete with lots of faces you've seen before. Denzel Washington, Ed Begley Jr., Christina Pickles (Ross and Monica's mom), Howie Mandel, Marc Harmon, David Morse (Tritter on House) and even William Daniels for you 90's youngsters (Feeny on Boy Meets World). The extras were even awesome- Ray Liotta, Jane Kaczmarek, Helen Hunt, Tim Robbins, the list goes on. You'll appreciate how much time has changed in one generation.