Maybe colleges need to teach better finance math

I sold a textbook online for a whopping $7. (Hey, I bought it for $6, so I basically used it for free.) And the buyer paid $4 in shipping for a grand purchase price of $11. After a few days I received an email saying she didn't realize she already had this book and could she return it?

I was a bit puzzled, thinking she had no idea she had to pay return shipping, thereby costing her a dollar more in postage than for the book itself. She said she knew, that's fine, she still wanted to return it.

Just when you think people can't get any more ridiculous with their money.

Turns out the joke's on her- I resold it for 10 bucks- $7 she would have had if she had just sold it herself ($3 plus her saved $4 in return shipping). Guess I'll be painting the town red this evening with that $3. Piece of advice- if you have textbooks to sell, always sell them end of August/beginning of September. Unless your book will be discontinued before that time, in which case you're screwed. And if you empirically know when your book will be obsolete, call me. We're required to test your psychic powers on a 1-800 number.

Online classes

Online classes can be so wonderful. At work all day and have karate-stripping at night? No problem. Study at 2am on a wednesday for 3 hours if you want. No being late for class, no boring lectures you can't fast-forward through (not that I've ever done that), and no irritating classmates.

Unless you have a classmate who needs self-validation. Let's call her Miss Insecure. The online classes I've taken have discussion boards where you need to interact with your classmates. It's required. Demanded. Graded. Miss Insecure flooded the message forum from day one with all kinds of, "That answer is on page 345!", "I know that problem is tricky, but 2+2 always equals 4! Keep trying!" and the ever helpful, "The teacher said homework is due tomorrow in case you didn't read the syllabus or forgot you're taking a class!"

As to be expected, there are glitches in online classes. Homework doesn't get submitted even though it was sent, problems are marked wrong even though they were right, the conspiracy theorist neighbor hacked your wireless and now the FBI is involved, etc. One time a test was acting up for a few people (I assume it was more than a few, even though only two made a comment about it on the message boards). The teacher decided to extend the deadline by 24 hours. That's all well and great, but what about everyone else who had no issues and already finished it? Hey Teach, I'd like 24 more hours to study too! But apparently I was the only one who thought this, as no one else chimed in, and the teacher gave some lame excuse that people who waited to complete the test would lose time from getting the next assignment finished. Which made no sense, since the next assignment was the midterm over the same material.

Except Miss Insecure. She sent me a full email complaining about how she was personally affected by the outage and was running around like a chicken with her head cut-off trying to get from her house to the library so she could finish the test at another computer, while simultaneously talking to tech support about the life-ending crisis, apparently so distraught that she forgot to stop at the local psychiatrist's office and fill her obviously-needed prescription for Valium. She was offended I thought she was taking the extra 24 hours to study, because, little did I know, some people have calendars that are jam-packed full of obligations, like juggling online classes, working, studying, raising a family, and all that other important stuff that I obviously wasn't involved with. While I was flattered that she felt I was easy-going and had lots of free time, I felt like telling her that I too was doing all that, yet if my grade was on the line, I would find an extra hour or two to study for the test, which is why I asked for extra time too. But instead I continued to eat my Ben & Jerry's with my feet up, watching reruns of Scrubs and laughing at her misfortune.

No wait, I didn't do that because I am a sensible human being and I too have obligations. Instead I wrote her a brief email telling her that no, this song isn't about you and that even Pollyanna understands that people do use that extra time to study.* I'm pretty sure she was looking for validation that she worked through a very difficult time for all of us, persevering in the process. Ok, I get it, you're not only Miss Insecure, you're Miss High-Maintence-Drama too.

She responded by feigning sympathy to my predicament of me needing more time to study. Touche Miss Insecure. Well-played.

*If you don't know who Pollyanna is, and why she's relevant here, go ask your grandma.

Public service announcement

If your goal is to become a doctor, but you're going to become impaired with a medical issue during college, change your major to Underwater Basketweaving right away. It's harder to make up a lousy sGPA when that's pretty much your *only* GPA.

I always wanted to be a doctor, so of course I majored in biology. (As a pre-teen, I even worked in a hospital dealing with patients, records, tests, etc. Remember, HIPAA is new invention kiddies.) Consequently, re-taking the core classes combines a lousy grade with a good one, instead of creating a new good grade, thereby creating years of make-up for you.

The More You Know...

How *not* to study for the MCAT with kids around

MCAT studying is hard. There's the massive amounts of material to learn, covering everything from arteries to zymogens, and the incredible focus that is required for the months you're torturing yourself is insane. But it becomes a whole new ballgame if you have a little one vying for your attention.

Mechanic Jr's school has not started yet, so he's still in the happy, carefree, summer-is-completely-awesome phase. (Is it sad I envy my child?) I decided to study at home after work, instead of going to the library or some other place, so I could be home, because that's what my Super Mom Handbook says to do. I set up Camp Mcat in the dining room, where I will be available in case of fire, flood, or famine. I figured he'd stop by and visit once in a while over the course of the evening, like the elderly neighbor next door.

Big mistake.

I'm not invisible and I'm certainly not inaccessible. Every 5 minutes I get interrupted with him showing me something, asking me something, telling me something, complaining about something, etc. My concentration is more broken than all the promises made in my high school yearbook. I can't think, I can't concentrate, and I find myself getting irritable at each intrusion. I'm ready to pull my hair out and scream, "For the love of all that is holy, will you please LEAVE ME ALONE?!"

Yet I don't. I deal with it. I listen to each interruption, I smile at the endless Lego creations paraded for my approval, and I fix each harrowing complaint (Mr. Mechanic changed the channel during an 'important' tv show and I was apparently voted as the Arbitration Committee.) I accept that it's the price you pay for being a non-trad. My son didn't ask me to return to school. He didn't get a vote. He still gets to treat me like "mom", replete with all the questions, complaints, show-in-tell of the hour, etc.

So my studying will be going a lot slower than I'd hoped. I got through about half of Day 1, so even though this is Day 2, it will be Day 1.5. I can't keep up this pace otherwise I won't be prepared, but I'll adjust. Because that's life with a family- it's a compromise.

MCAT studying schedule- Day 1

There are more than a few schedules floating around out there, but I'm following the 3-month schedule from SDN, albeit at a slower pace. He recommends studying for something like 14 hours a day, but having little things like Mechanic Jr and a jay-oh-bee, I can't spend that much time devoted to being bored. I mean studying. Oh sure, I could stop showering, eating, and sleeping, but I find those little things are important to my sanity and well-being.

Previously when I didn't study for the ever important test, I used Kaplan materials. Now I'm going low-tech and using The Berkeley Review. And dayum, that shit is hard. I'm already dreading it.

Here's to day one.

Where the blog title comes from (as if you didn't know)

Growing up, I was exposed to the fruits of the feminist revolution, with women sporting huge shoulder pads and even larger spectacles, trying to break the glass ceiling. Anything was possible, as long as you were willing to be the "first whatever" and were ready to deal with the struggles associated with being a fish out of water, or a pioneer without a wang. Women make up half of the class in med schools, but there aren't a lot of mothers, and even fewer women who were mothers long before they hit send on that first application. But that's me. Am I pioneer? No, I'm just a minority. But I feel the pressure to succeed, simply because not a lot of mothers have gone where I am going.

Where am I going you ask? (I swear, I have a point.) Sure, other mothers have done it, and done it quite successfully. I'll bet they've become every type of doctor. But it seems that all the ones I've read about on blogs or articles have become internists, pediatricians, family practice docs, etc. I want to be a surgeon. An organic mechanic. And not just any surgeon, I want to be a specialist. A chosen path that will take upwards of 11 years to complete. If I live a long, healthy, Alzheimer's-free life, I will get a good 20 years out of my profession. Is that too short for the amount of time invested? I don't think so. I'll be 80 anyway, I might as well have enjoyed my last 20 years doing something I love, instead of being bored at home with my SunSetter retractable awning and watching Judge Judy.

Life never quite turns out how we dream it will (I never became that famous karaoke singing stewardess I wanted to be) but you can always go back down the path you envisioned.

Next step for me

I'm finishing up my last summer class right now, so I'm blissfully remembering the past and what is yet to come. Next week when I start the MCAT studying, the real shit will hit the fan and you'll see a much less composed me.

If you're looking for inspiration not to give up, I'm here for the taking. (If you're looking for a good time, I'm sooooo not your gal. I'm boring. The Daily Show is the highlight of my day. And I'm sure Mr. Mechanic wouldn't appreciate me spending more time away from home.)

I've been rejected pre-interview by a lot of schools. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say it's because of my old GPA and MCAT and not my lack of nepotism. No, no, don't try to make me feel better, I know it has to be that. So my next step is a SMP. There are a bunch of these programs, spread out all over the east coast, upper midwest, with a few in the south. I live nowhere near those places. But I'm going to apply to as many as my checkbook will allow, and hopefully I will get into a good one. What's a good one? One that accepts me and my deposit.

Seriously, I'd rather go to one that allows you to interview in as an MSII, rather than retake the year, but hey, I'll take what I can get. I think I'm going to apply to about two dozen programs, and we'll see who bites. At this point I want to go to Mega U School of Med, my alma mater, but if I like where I'm at and don't have to repeat a year, that'll be tough to beat.

Where was I?

Oh yeah, school and all that.

So I started community college again (having a job kind of limits your choices to night classes), retaking all the pre-reqs, plus a few more for good measure (*cough 18 classes to date cough*). I was hellbound to prove I was a good student, a good doctor, and gosh-darn it, people like me! Thankfully, I truly am a good student, and am smart and able- my post-bacc GPA is 3.94, just about all of which is sGPA. If all goes as planned, I'll be taking 7 more classes before starting a SMP program in late summer next year. My goal is to take my terrible, horrible, no good, very bad 2.2 sGPA into the 3.0 range. And if all goes well, I will.

So once I got the GPA issue squared away, the next step in applying was taking the MCAT. (Mwah, mwah, mwwwwaaahhhh.) Ugh. I didn't study like I should have and the first time I took it, I got a 26. So I retook it! I'll do better! Except I did *the exact same thing I did the first time and still didn't freaking study* for it. I got a 25. (ps7, vr10, bs9 and ps7, vr9, bs9) So here I am, retaking it for the third time. Except I am not going to repeat the past, as I learned from my mistakes. (Except somehow I have never learned that Grey's Anatomy is a crappy show and that skinny jeans look horrible on a short chubby person.) I am taking it in January, and am starting the studying next week. I'll also be taking a class during the majority of the studying time, as well as working FT, and oh yeah, raising a family. (Did I mention I'm the non-tradiest of all?)

I'll post updates about my studying and how things are going. If I apply myself like I have in school, I'll be fine.

My sordid college past

Since we're fast pals and all that, I'll let you in on a secret- I did not do well in college. (Yeah, I'm talking about grades- what kind of sordid past were you hoping I had?!) Oh sure, I did well enough to graduate, but everyone knows that if you want to get into medical school you have to have a 4.0, research papers, volunteer experience, life experience, a Nobel Prize, and a sandwich named after you at the local deli. I barely graduated. And I mean that in the most sincere way- I graduated college with a 2.65 GPA.

Let that sink in- someone with a 2.65 wants to be a doctor. YOUR doctor. Not only am I old, I'm stupid too! I'll be seeing patients, telling them, "Bend over, all thermometers are rectal!" Townsie and I will be doing all the ancient procedures together!

In my defense, I was diagnosed with a medical problem and it affected my last four years of school. Yes, I said last four. I went for six. My first two years were a comedy of errors, spanning a couple different community colleges, in different states, with different class names, different requirements for graduation, and different prerequisites. (Remember, this was before online classes, common class identifiers, and a well-rounded choice of science classes at "Junior" colleges. It was the dark ages.)

Needless to say, I wound up not being able to transfer nearly every single one of my 2 years at CC to Mega U. Except english. I'm sure that transferred. Whoop-dee-do. So I started over at Mega U, became ill, and pushed through anyway. I refused to quit, even though I should have taken time off. I stupidly was bullheaded persevered and graduated. The Expected-Manner-In-Which-Adults-Do-Things took over, and I took on a job, a family, a mortgage, and scrapbooking (I regret nothing!!) And I was happy. Except I felt a little dead in a certain spot of my heart (I'm sure it wasn't an infarction. It was in the heartstrings. Ba-da-tiss!)

Blah blah blah, I decided to return to school and return to the career path I really wanted. But I had a long road ahead. It's frought with peril and anguish. Next week on "As the Med School Calls". (I loved daytime soaps in college. Adulthood ruined them for me. I can't watch them without letting stupid logic get in the way.)

To new beginnings (and all that crap)

Here it is, my foray into blogging. It scares me more than a little, and probably way more than it should. I'm a very private person- even before Al Gore invented the internet and AOL was something awesome other than a joke, I was always afraid of letting people know too much about me. (I'm sure there's an interesting psych appointment in there somewhere.) Anyway, I've learned so much from others on their trip to med school that I wanted to give back, to let others know their failures are not just theirs. That I too am a screw-up and have failed, but am not a failure.

I am a non-trad, probably as non-trad as you can get. If there were awards for "Most Non-Traditional", I'd be the spokesperson.There's a Mr. Mechanic, a Mechanic Jr, a mortgage, a renter, a career, a history, a past, and a 20-year reunion that thankfully I wasn't invited to. I have a disappointing undergrad GPA, MCAT score, and a long list of med schools that didn't think I was matriculant material. Yes, I've interviewed and applied, but it ended like every other date I went on as a teenager- "You're great, you really are, but, um, there are A LOT of people who are so much better in many ways. No hard feelings, hmm? Is your sister dating anyone?" Wait, I'm sure the adcoms didn't say that last part.

I'm old for a med student. Like, ancient. Like, I was a teenager when "like" was commonly used as a verb. I stood in line for Ghostbusters, owned an 8-track tape, and used rotary dial phones. I actually enjoy the news and yell at kids to get the hell off my lawn. (What? They're parking their damn car on my grass- wouldn't you be annoyed?) I was the oldest person in my Kaplan class and fit in nicely in the "Oldest people in this class" section. I sit near the front, not because I'm a gunner, but because I have a hard time hearing the teacher. I'm waiting for my copy of AARP to show up unannounced and uninvited, like herpes.


*Woman pictured may not accurately reflect age of author.
Although the hair color is close.

But nay, I am not defeated, nor am I discouraged about fulfilling my dream. I may be a little crazy, maybe a bit more stupid to my non-med friends, but I'm not anything, if not driven. I am currently re-taking classes and will be re-taking the MCAT in a few months. I'll be applying to the gap year programs starting in the new year, and I plan on being successful. Otherwise I'll just be embarrassed, pack up this blog, and move to Mexico.

Here's to success, one step at a time.