MCAT date pushed back again

Thanks to this new job, I have even less time to study, so my new date will be in May. Plus I realized that I will be taking the test for the second time on the same date I took it previously. I'm too superstitious to let that happen.

Another job!

Yep, I must be crazy, because I have taken on second part-time job. I just couldn't turn down another opportunity to work in clinical research with patients, plus I'm back to having cushy benefits. The downside is that I will be gone A LOT. Junior actually cried a little last night when I told him, which made me very sad. I know this is good for our family, because we have benefits again, plus more money. (Money has been very tight, to the point of not paying some bills each month, something we are definitely not used to.)

I am away from my family from 8:30am to 8pm four days a week, home most of the day on Fridays, and gone just about all of the 48 hours on the weekend. I told him what's important about the time we spend together is quality, not quantity, so we will make the most of the time we have together. I likened it to being a military parent, something I grew up with.

I know he will be fine; in fact this morning, he was ambivalent about me being gone. We'll skype with each other and talk on the phone quite a bit- both jobs have ample time to spend socializing with my family. I figure this is just a warming-up period for med school- I'm taking 18 credits, working 30 hours a week, still studying for the MCAT, and spending time with my family.

On the application front, I am STILL waiting for one more letter of recommendation and then my app will be complete (I'm going on three weeks of waiting, pleading, cajoling, begging, etc.)

Hazards of a common name

My name is relatively common for my age, meaning that lots of parents loved the same name around the same time, therefore they all named their kid the same name (like how in 20 years there will be colleges chock-full of Emmas, Isabellas, Ethans, and Jacksons). At one point in high school I was friends with two other girls named Jane, and I'm sure there were more of us in other cliques. Now combine that with the fact that I have no idea who half the residents, interns, fellows, attendings, nurses, or even volunteers are at my hospital, and you've got an embarrassment waiting to happen.

Apparently I have the same first name as the chief surgical resident. Who knew? Not me, that's for sure, otherwise I would have kept my fool mouth shut and my dignity intact, instead of answering for her during a critical point in a serious surgical case. In my defense, I figured everyone called doctors, 'Doctor' instead of "Jane". So when the scrub nurse yelled out to "Jane" asking if an emergency protocol was to be enacted, I idiotically loudly responded, "I have no idea!" After the room silenced and all eyes fixated on me, I realized that the woman standing way over there next to the patient was the intended receipient. Yeah, that made WAY more sense.

Man, I'm an idiot sometimes.

But, I learned my lesson, and later on when someone yelled out, "Jane, you need to check in before entering the OR!" I stayed silent and kept on walking. After all, Jane was the chief resident, not lowly ole me. That was until the nurse literally grabbed my arm and forcefully pulled me back out, chastizing me for ignoring her.

Can people please call doctors by their last names at least?!

The waiting game has started...

I submitted my app to one of the SMP schools today.

I sent off for all my transcripts, mailed in my mcat scores, and am awaiting my LORs from my profs and bosses. I have about a week or two before all items will be received by the school, and then my app will be complete. I'm nervous- I hope I've done enough work to be accepted into the program. It sure would be nice to have a solid plan for the future; I feel like I'm living in limbo at the moment, waiting to see if I will be in school in the fall, or if I need to find a non-temporary job.

:::crossing my fingers and toes:::

Law of the ED

The average Joe will remain calm and stoic when their leg has been horrifically amputated in an accident, but the gang member will scream, whine, and snivel for their Mommy when they are shot in the arm.

16 and Pregnant

I confess, one of my guilty pleasures is 16 and Pregnant, and on occasion, Teen Mom. I love watching these girls attempt to balance motherhood and school simultaneously- I desperately want them to succeed and I love watching their balancing act. I love that they know this is tough, yet they persevere and keep at it (well, many of them.)

When I first started school, I was working 40 hours a week and taking one class. That was hard for me at the beginning, but became routine after a couple of classes. It helped that I had taken these classes before, since I had already graduated and was just repeating my cores for med school. I wasn't being challenged in these classes, and studying was simple. I can't imagine how it must feel for those moms doing these classes for the first time, plus having little babies- you have my utmost respect. I started this when my son was in grade school already- I couldn't imagine doing it with a baby.

I am now finding myself overwhelmed not by the material I'm learning, but by the volume of stuff I need to do (hey, it's perfect practice for med school). 18 credits, the mcat, home-life, work, etc. I look at these young girls on tv and think (seriously), "If they can do it, I can do it." Yes, I am drawing inspiration from teenagers on MTV, who'd have thunk it? (I must feel that I have to give the caveat that I understand there is a difference between doing these two things, and doing them well.)

So thank you 16 and Pregnant- if you young kids can do it, I can do it.

Punishment, thy name is 'My Schedule'

Ok, I may not be the brightest bulb in the ceiling when it comes to estimating my available time. Apparently I felt that 18 credits in majors biology was totally do-able while studying for the mcat. I may have overestimated my abilities just a smidge.

I have at least two assignments due every week for my classes, sometimes three, and usually one of those assignments is an exam. I also have to work all night each Friday and Saturday night, and let's not forget I have a family too. I think this is the point in my preparation where sleep is going to start taking a serious backseat in my list of priorities. There is no way I can accomplish everything I need to for the mcat, school, and get plenty of rest, either via sleep or zoning out in front of the tv. I'm already mourning the loss of my decent sleep during the week.

I need me some Focusyn.

Professor riders

Do you know what a rider is? It's a list of demands that famous people make on their venues, like Van Halen's no brown m&m's or Britney Spears' bunless McDonald's cheeseburgers and figs. A rider is usually normal, but people have been known to go overboard with their demands. And speaking of going overboard on demands...

It's been a few years since I took a class with this professor, and while I remember her being a bit strict with her expectations for student behavior, I think she delved into middle-school territory since I saw her last. Her rider of do-nots is extremely long- while some are wholly expected (don't talk in class), the rest fall into Mother-Hen-controlling-her-young insanity. We are locked out if we're late. We have to bring the printed calendar, syllabus, and notes everyday. Don't use *this* notebook, use *that* one. No emailing assignments. No missing exams, even if you're sick. No gum. No food. No drink. No computers. No cell phones. No recording devices. No pictures (she actually said no cameras, apparently completely showing her age or naivete). And the list goes on. Her class was the first one I took when I returned to school way back when, so maybe it was the mix of fear and apprehension, but her behavior didn't bug me then. It does now. Holy cow, it's annoying.  I'm half-expecting to be talked to in a very low voice at eye level about how "we don't do that, do we?", complete with being told to stand in the corner and think about what I've done. I treat my son as more of an adult than she does to us.

Ok, enough bitching, back to studying.

Lack of sleep

I remember when I was around 25 years old, I switched from working the typical 8-hour day shift to doing 4-10s overnight. I worked the night shift my entire college career and I hoped the overnight shift would be just as welcome. I wasn't disappointed- it meshed very well with my personality. I loved the darkness, silence, and enveloping quiet associated with working the odd shift, never having to deal with lots of co-workers or annoying morning people. I never had to deal with traffic jams, expensive parking, or office mayhem. The only issue was that my choice of dinner options was extremely limited- my co-workers and I would frequently hit up McDonald's at 2am (which, if I were to try that now, I'd gain 10 pounds in 10 minutes, along with a severe case of nausea and diarrhea.)

During that year I worked against my circadian rhythm, I don't remember being excessively tired during my shifts, although I certainly never had a lack of things to do. In my current position I could go an entire 12-hour shift and not have anything to do besides study; therefore, I find myself fighting to stay awake some days. And some days it's a serious struggle.

I was worried I was getting too old, too weak, too feeble to work overnight anymore, or that spending hours studying was now incompatible with my nature. (Cue somber, sad music.) That was until I realized that during the 48 hours on the weekend, I usually sleep only about four hours. Four freaking hours in 2 days? No wonder my body is fighting me tooth and nail to fall asleep.

Jan 2

I swear that the Murphy's Law gods just returned from vacation to herald the restart of my studying schedule- my days have become packed. For instance, just today, my family is leaving (sniff sniff), I have an unemployment appointment, a meeting at work, my son returns to school, and I have class tonight. I am determined to do my damnest to get each item on my list done.

Today's agenda:

1. review previous days' verbal
2. 2 verbal passages
3. review previous gen chem passages
4. reading TBR ochem ch 7
5. 1st third questions

New Year's Resolutions

I love making New Year's Resolutions. I think it's because of the immensity of the clean slate I get to start with- a new week is a clean slate, as is a new month, but a new year is the biggest slate. So to start off a new year, I changed to a new font, and I've jotted down a few resolutions that I will do my best to complete.

• Put on face cream each night (I'm getting wrinkles I can do without.)
• Work out four days a week (shouldn't be much of an issue if I get over being lazy.)
• Take third Spanish class and learn how to converse (I can barely say a full sentence.)
• Get ≥33 on the MCAT

I think all of these are incredibly do-able, especially the MCAT score. If I took it in January I would score 27 to 30, so increasing one point in each section in the next three months is definitely accomplishable.

Besides creating a list for things I can do, here is my wish list for 2013:

• My man lands a job ASAP (the sooner, the better. Please God.)
• Get accepted to both a SMP and medical school
• Get a 35 on the MCAT

And on that note, I'm off to study.