I always want to look on the bright side

Sometimes life gets in the way of where you want to go. In college it was my illness. In the present day it could be my family, my job, my bills, my mortgage, my crushing depression about being 10 lbs heavier than in high school, etc. There's always something that can derail you.

Today it could be my lay-off notice. After giving 14 years to the same company I am being laid-off. So it goes in the scientific world. Grants don't get funded, funding gets cut, cuts to personnel. You know the drill. This could be devastating, since as I haven't mentioned it before, I am the breadwinner. Now there are two of us unemployed. That doesn't work very well when you built a life years ago with a six-figure salary.

I haven't cried yet, but I'm sure I will. I'm angry, but there's no one to take the blame. So you suck it up and pretend it's all going to be okay.

"This is the worst day of my life."

You can't just throw away any attachment you have to a job that you love, no matter how much you want to march down to Washington and throttle the NIH for tossing aside a quarter of a century's worth of work in research. I'll miss my routine, my co-workers, my desk, my little shelf in the fridge that no one else used because they knew it was mine, etc. I'll miss a lot of things, but mostly I'll miss that damn paycheck and medical insurance.

(I won't get into ObamaCare and all that, but suffice to say, Republicans and any opposers are idiots. In order to keep COBRA I need to pay out $1100 a month. That's totally do-able on unemployment. What I can afford is catastrophic insurance where anything less than an arm falling off isn't covered.)


Like I said, idiots.

Regardless, what's done is done. Now I need to look past the crushing fear of losing my house, having a catastrophic health problem in our family, or defaulting on my bills, and move onto the bright side. And if you'll notice the trend, they all revolve around my favorite things I wasn't able to do with a daily distraction.

• I can study all day for the MCAT!
• I'm not limited to night classes anymore!
• I can go shopping! (no, wait, I can't do that.)
• I can go WINDOW shopping! (that's lame. won't do that.)
• I can read for fun!
• I can drop Mechanic Jr. off at school AND pick him up!
• I won't have to fight between school and family anymore!
• Maybe I'll put on makeup and work out! (nahhh.)

The point is that I'm seeing this as a silver lining. I'm still looking for a job, as is Mr. Mechanic (because we're not idiots, we know money won't grow on that money tree we planted in the backyard. It has to grow bigger first.) But I am not letting this derail me. I am still heading in the same direction, perhaps not even slowed down one bit.