Holy cow, its been forever since I posted anything. That's the thing with making a bunch of life changes at once- the little things fall by the wayside.
Let's see, I moved across the country, left my family behind (boo!), attended graduate school, graduated (with a nice 3.53 GPA if I might add), accepted to a couple medical schools (HOLY SHIT!), and more excitedly, I got to chose which school I wanted (HOLY SHIT!!). I found a house in my new city, moved back home, started working for two months for the summer, and prepared to move again once more, but this time with my hubby and son. Yippee!!
So here I am, now a bona fide medical student. I've had about 3 months for it to sink in and I've accepted my fate. To be honest, it took a few days before it truly hit me. I was sitting on the couch alone one saturday watching my Discovery Fit & Health trauma shows and I started my routine- get a bowl of Top Ramen (chicken only, all other flavors are the devil), a cold Mt Dew, fabric napkin, and DVR. I always watch the opening intro and think, "God, please, let that be me one day." And as the fork was halfway between my mouth and my bowl, I had the epiphany, "That IS going to be me IN 4 YEARS." I burst into tears that were full of relief and excitement. Six years of working hard had finally paid off- I had finally gotten into medical school and I was going to be a doctor.
I survived graduate school even when I didn't think I would. I was accepted into medical school when I didn't think I would. And now I'm going to be a doctor when I didn't think I would. Here I am, a 40 year old mom of a tween and a medical student. Work hard, it will happen.
Wednesday, June 11, 2014
Friday, July 19, 2013
Professional tidbit I'm putting in my pocket for the future
At my hospital, the residents man the medic radios, answering questions, giving the approval for meds, declaring codes, etc. There is a script for answering the radios that's usually followed by all residents:
EMS: "Medic Doc, this is County ES, how do you receive?"
Medic Doc: "ES, we hear you loud and clear, go ahead."
EMS: "Medic Doc, we have a 65 year old female complaining of tight socks, baggy pants, and a light wallet. BP is 120/80, pulse 72, sugar stick negative, no active bleeding, GCS of 15. Permission to give a bolus of saline and 2 slaps to the side of the head?
Medic Doc: "Thank you ES, I understand you have a 65 year old female, normal vital signs and hemodynamically stable. I agree with your plan of saline and slaps, what is your ETA?
EMS: "Medic Doc, our ETA is 5 minutes, over."
Medic Doc: "Copy ES, over and out."
Wasn't that simple and clear? Very concise? Easy as pie, not hard, no hassles, and most importantly, no confusion.
Alas, this is July, when the new interns arrive, either timid and hesitant, or full of ego and bullshit. So I shouldn't have been surprised when the new resident answered the radio like this:
EMS: "Medic Doc, this is County ES, how do you receive?"
Medic Doc: "clear."
EMS: "Medic Doc, we did not register your response, please repeat."
Medic Doc: "clear."
EMS: "Medic Doc, did you reply?"
MD: "CLEAR." (As if volume was the problem.)
EMS: "Medic Doc, we have not heard a clear response, we're going to assume you hear us. We have a 45 year old male complaining of shortness of patience, pain in his sphincter, and itchy teeth. Request to administer 50 of ...
(Interrupting) Medic Doc: "I said CLEAR."
EMS: "... and a repeat EKG if you deem it necessary, over."
MD: "......"
EMS: "Medic Doc?"
MD: "Ok."
EMS: "Um, Medic Doc, is that an ok to... everything? Did you hear us?"
MD: "I said ok, I'm on the other phone."
EMS: "Uh, Medic Doc, we need clarification, please repeat our transmission."
MD: "........"
EMS: "Medic Doc?"
MD: "......."
EMS: "Medic Doc, how do you receive?"
MD: (snottily) "I hear you, yeah."
EMS: "Can you repeat please?"
MD: "I'll see you in 10."
EMS: "Medic Doc, we're pulling up right now."
MD: "See you in 10."
During this whole conversation, she was talking to someone else on another phone, carrying on the same type of conversation. Due to tone, I'm guessing she was the ego intern, not the timid one. Never get sick in July...
EMS: "Medic Doc, this is County ES, how do you receive?"
Medic Doc: "ES, we hear you loud and clear, go ahead."
EMS: "Medic Doc, we have a 65 year old female complaining of tight socks, baggy pants, and a light wallet. BP is 120/80, pulse 72, sugar stick negative, no active bleeding, GCS of 15. Permission to give a bolus of saline and 2 slaps to the side of the head?
Medic Doc: "Thank you ES, I understand you have a 65 year old female, normal vital signs and hemodynamically stable. I agree with your plan of saline and slaps, what is your ETA?
EMS: "Medic Doc, our ETA is 5 minutes, over."
Medic Doc: "Copy ES, over and out."
Wasn't that simple and clear? Very concise? Easy as pie, not hard, no hassles, and most importantly, no confusion.
Alas, this is July, when the new interns arrive, either timid and hesitant, or full of ego and bullshit. So I shouldn't have been surprised when the new resident answered the radio like this:
EMS: "Medic Doc, this is County ES, how do you receive?"
Medic Doc: "clear."
EMS: "Medic Doc, we did not register your response, please repeat."
Medic Doc: "clear."
EMS: "Medic Doc, did you reply?"
MD: "CLEAR." (As if volume was the problem.)
EMS: "Medic Doc, we have not heard a clear response, we're going to assume you hear us. We have a 45 year old male complaining of shortness of patience, pain in his sphincter, and itchy teeth. Request to administer 50 of ...
(Interrupting) Medic Doc: "I said CLEAR."
EMS: "... and a repeat EKG if you deem it necessary, over."
MD: "......"
EMS: "Medic Doc?"
MD: "Ok."
EMS: "Um, Medic Doc, is that an ok to... everything? Did you hear us?"
MD: "I said ok, I'm on the other phone."
EMS: "Uh, Medic Doc, we need clarification, please repeat our transmission."
MD: "........"
EMS: "Medic Doc?"
MD: "......."
EMS: "Medic Doc, how do you receive?"
MD: (snottily) "I hear you, yeah."
EMS: "Can you repeat please?"
MD: "I'll see you in 10."
EMS: "Medic Doc, we're pulling up right now."
MD: "See you in 10."
During this whole conversation, she was talking to someone else on another phone, carrying on the same type of conversation. Due to tone, I'm guessing she was the ego intern, not the timid one. Never get sick in July...
Thursday, July 18, 2013
More July 1 fun
Me to the surgery Fellow: "Hey doc, I see you're the new surgery Fellow. I need you to fill out this paperwork for the patient's procedure." (hands him paperwork)
Fellow: "Uh, what do I do?"
Me: "It's just asking for your permission to give blood products, which you've already ordered, so we just need the paperwork signed."
Fellow: "Uh, am I supposed to sign it?"
Me: "Yes, every Fellow before you has. Plus you ordered the products, so..."
Fellow: "Uh, let me ask my Attending."
Me: (What the hell?! It's just a damn signature!) "Uh, we can't give the orders without your signature, so could you please sign?"
Fellow: "Give the products, but I'm waiting on signing it until I hear from the Attending."
Me: "Seriously?!"
So I stood around for an hour waiting for the Attending to come tell this person who has had 5 years of post-medical school training to sign for his own damn orders. Welcome to July.
Fellow: "Uh, what do I do?"
Me: "It's just asking for your permission to give blood products, which you've already ordered, so we just need the paperwork signed."
Fellow: "Uh, am I supposed to sign it?"
Me: "Yes, every Fellow before you has. Plus you ordered the products, so..."
Fellow: "Uh, let me ask my Attending."
Me: (What the hell?! It's just a damn signature!) "Uh, we can't give the orders without your signature, so could you please sign?"
Fellow: "Give the products, but I'm waiting on signing it until I hear from the Attending."
Me: "Seriously?!"
So I stood around for an hour waiting for the Attending to come tell this person who has had 5 years of post-medical school training to sign for his own damn orders. Welcome to July.
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Changing of the Guard
Two weeks ago I noticed that the patients' ICU notes were getting submitted to records later and later, finally culminating in never being in before 5pm. I was all, 'what the hell?!' since rounding starts at 7am and ends around noon. I was getting really annoyed, as I need those charts to finish my work. When I started here in December, I was done at 2pm-ish, now, the beginning of summer, I'm getting done around 6 or 7. It was really irritating.
Fast-forward to this past weekend- I realized that the ICU notes were now being done by 9am. I was *impressed*. I had to pick up my jaw from the floor. I was done around noon, basking in the sunshine, so happy for the fact that obviously the residents wanted to leave early too! Yay! That was until I looked at the calendar and realized that July 1 had passed. And then it dawned on me- the gradual increase in lateness matched the increase in apathy for being done with residency year. The sharp uptick in punctuality was due to new interns being eager to please their attendings. Oh well, that's one positive that comes from new doctors at the helm.
Fast-forward to this past weekend- I realized that the ICU notes were now being done by 9am. I was *impressed*. I had to pick up my jaw from the floor. I was done around noon, basking in the sunshine, so happy for the fact that obviously the residents wanted to leave early too! Yay! That was until I looked at the calendar and realized that July 1 had passed. And then it dawned on me- the gradual increase in lateness matched the increase in apathy for being done with residency year. The sharp uptick in punctuality was due to new interns being eager to please their attendings. Oh well, that's one positive that comes from new doctors at the helm.
Friday, July 5, 2013
Post MCAT blues
So I took my test on July 2nd as expected. I had read all the chapters, done many practice problems, and completed every AAMC practice test. I felt reasonably prepared. I was getting an average of 28 on my practice tests, which was reasonable for me. My highest score was 32 (11/11/10) and my lowest, 23 (7/8/8). I have taken this test twice before, each time feeling ok, but not overtly bad about it. Until Tuesday.
Nothing had prepared me for this test. It was a beast. It was awful. It was all I could do, to not burst into tears during the PS section. I started panicking, rushing through, having all thoughts of being doctor evaporate before my eyes. It sucked. The verbal was ok- maybe even great. I started to feel a little better, thinking, okay, I always suck at PS, I'll get through the verbal and BS sections and I'll be okay. And then BS kicked my ass as well. I would have cried on the way home if it weren't for the fact that I was trying to keep a strong front on the phone with my family.
So I'm mentally trying to prepare for a 24 (7/9/8). God, it was horrible. And now I feel like all my hopes have gone out the window, that there is no chance for me to get any secondaries, much less interviews and acceptances (I already submitted my app on the 22nd.) God, this sucks. :(
Nothing had prepared me for this test. It was a beast. It was awful. It was all I could do, to not burst into tears during the PS section. I started panicking, rushing through, having all thoughts of being doctor evaporate before my eyes. It sucked. The verbal was ok- maybe even great. I started to feel a little better, thinking, okay, I always suck at PS, I'll get through the verbal and BS sections and I'll be okay. And then BS kicked my ass as well. I would have cried on the way home if it weren't for the fact that I was trying to keep a strong front on the phone with my family.
So I'm mentally trying to prepare for a 24 (7/9/8). God, it was horrible. And now I feel like all my hopes have gone out the window, that there is no chance for me to get any secondaries, much less interviews and acceptances (I already submitted my app on the 22nd.) God, this sucks. :(
Thursday, June 20, 2013
July 2 is 12 days away.
Less than 2 weeks.
I just returned from a very nice but way too short family vacation where I was away from the hospital for nearly two weeks (scheduling issues, my vacation was 5 days long.) And I can't believe how much I missed it. How much I missed the patients, the problems, the conditions, the hectic-ness, etc. Guess I really am made for this.
I finally finished my app but I haven't submitted it yet. I'm still debating on adding more schools, but I doubt I will. I think I'm waiting because once I submit, there's no turning back, and what if I want to rewrite something?! I'll probably submit tomorrow anyway.
So I'm back on MCAT patrol, trying in vain for that 30. We'll see...
I just returned from a very nice but way too short family vacation where I was away from the hospital for nearly two weeks (scheduling issues, my vacation was 5 days long.) And I can't believe how much I missed it. How much I missed the patients, the problems, the conditions, the hectic-ness, etc. Guess I really am made for this.
I finally finished my app but I haven't submitted it yet. I'm still debating on adding more schools, but I doubt I will. I think I'm waiting because once I submit, there's no turning back, and what if I want to rewrite something?! I'll probably submit tomorrow anyway.
So I'm back on MCAT patrol, trying in vain for that 30. We'll see...
Monday, June 10, 2013
Keeping on track... sort of
I kept on track and finished my class on Wednesday, probably one of the few promises I kept to myself lately. I worked on my app over the weekend, but I had so much work to do at the hospital, that I didn't get even a tenth of it finished. Needless to say, it's still sitting there, mocking my psyche, awaiting finishing. Not that it matters at this point, seeing as I'm still waiting for three more LORs and a transcript, and haven't even picked out all my schools, but it would be nice to get it off my mind.
And speaking of getting stuff off my mind, I am so tired of studying for the mcat. I just want this to be over. I don't want to be so mentally over this test that I forgo even trying to get a decent score, so I'm in a quandary of how to study without wanting to 100% ignore it and just watch reruns of ER. I don't hate this test, I don't hate any standardized tests, and I don't hate studying, it's just that I'm *done* with this test. Since I'll be taking a family vacation from Friday to Tuesday, I'm working the beginning of the week instead of the end like I normally do (here goes not having a day off in about 10 days) and then back to the grind of mcat until July 2. I don't even know what day I would have to reschedule my test, that's how positive I am I will be taking it this time.
I haven't done a thing to prepare to for grad school, except sorta think about the drive down there and which day will be my last one at work. Oh and I haven't yet told one job I'm leaving, which I feel really weird about- most people give their boss 2 weeks notice, here I am feeling bad about not giving 2 months notice. I have to dig up my shot records, get a physical, tune up my car, etc., etc., etc. Ugh, way too much to do, so I don't want to do any of it.
But to move forward on a bright note, I will be studying gen chem all day, physics tomorrow, bio on Wednesday (all day, since I don't work... I think), and fitting in finishing my app, plus a little verbal and ochem. Did I bring this on myself? Oh yes I did, and now I'm cleaning up the mess.
And speaking of getting stuff off my mind, I am so tired of studying for the mcat. I just want this to be over. I don't want to be so mentally over this test that I forgo even trying to get a decent score, so I'm in a quandary of how to study without wanting to 100% ignore it and just watch reruns of ER. I don't hate this test, I don't hate any standardized tests, and I don't hate studying, it's just that I'm *done* with this test. Since I'll be taking a family vacation from Friday to Tuesday, I'm working the beginning of the week instead of the end like I normally do (here goes not having a day off in about 10 days) and then back to the grind of mcat until July 2. I don't even know what day I would have to reschedule my test, that's how positive I am I will be taking it this time.
I haven't done a thing to prepare to for grad school, except sorta think about the drive down there and which day will be my last one at work. Oh and I haven't yet told one job I'm leaving, which I feel really weird about- most people give their boss 2 weeks notice, here I am feeling bad about not giving 2 months notice. I have to dig up my shot records, get a physical, tune up my car, etc., etc., etc. Ugh, way too much to do, so I don't want to do any of it.
But to move forward on a bright note, I will be studying gen chem all day, physics tomorrow, bio on Wednesday (all day, since I don't work... I think), and fitting in finishing my app, plus a little verbal and ochem. Did I bring this on myself? Oh yes I did, and now I'm cleaning up the mess.
Saturday, June 8, 2013
Nerves have moved back in and are settling in nicely
I'm nervous now. I get really worked up during the application cycle and everything worries me. Did I do enough to raise my GPA? Do I have enough extra-curriculars? Are my letters adequate? Is my personal statement stupid? Are my experiences unique or ridiculous? Will I get any interviews? Will I finally get an offer?
I compare myself way too much to other people who are applying- I'm stupider than that guy, I'm smarter than girl, but less experienced, that poor guy didn't get in and my GPA is worse, her MCAT score is one point higher and she didn't get in, etc. I hate it. I turn into a quivering mass of nerves, self-doubt, and mental tears.
I'm trying to study for the MCAT (24 days away!) and I panic at what I don't know. When a mentor picks apart my personal statement, I think I'm a moron. When I discuss my app with another mentor, I feel like an idiot for even thinking I'd get a spot. And it's not that I lack self- confidence, its just that I'm truly worse than nearly every other app out there- I have a shitty GPA and a mediocre MCAT score. I don't have a whole lot that separates me from the chaff. I go through highs of feeling like I have a chance, and then crushing lows where I cry that I'll never be a doctor.
I'm planning on being finished with my last college class on Wednesday and my app finished (and submitted) by Sunday. That will free me up mentally for nothin' but MCAT. Hopefully my last LORs and transcripts have arrived by next week, and then it'll be in the hands of the transcript examiners.
I compare myself way too much to other people who are applying- I'm stupider than that guy, I'm smarter than girl, but less experienced, that poor guy didn't get in and my GPA is worse, her MCAT score is one point higher and she didn't get in, etc. I hate it. I turn into a quivering mass of nerves, self-doubt, and mental tears.
I'm trying to study for the MCAT (24 days away!) and I panic at what I don't know. When a mentor picks apart my personal statement, I think I'm a moron. When I discuss my app with another mentor, I feel like an idiot for even thinking I'd get a spot. And it's not that I lack self- confidence, its just that I'm truly worse than nearly every other app out there- I have a shitty GPA and a mediocre MCAT score. I don't have a whole lot that separates me from the chaff. I go through highs of feeling like I have a chance, and then crushing lows where I cry that I'll never be a doctor.
I'm planning on being finished with my last college class on Wednesday and my app finished (and submitted) by Sunday. That will free me up mentally for nothin' but MCAT. Hopefully my last LORs and transcripts have arrived by next week, and then it'll be in the hands of the transcript examiners.
Thursday, June 6, 2013
Of course not, that could be unhealthy!
We had a patient who was admitted for a PEA, secondary to a heroin overdose. After being intubated, delirious, and on a wide variety of life-saving medications for more than a week, he regained lucidity. It was at this point that he refused to take a well known drug being tested for off-label use because he didn't know what he was taking, and he "didn't take harmful stuff".
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
Attics are dangerous!
Medical problems seem to come in groups into our ER. One week we had a slew of heart attacks, the next, a bunch of necrotizing soft tissue infections. This week, I guess tis the season, as the most recent slew of problems have been people falling through the floorboards in their attics.
Three, count 'em, three people who were spring cleaning their attics fell more than 10 feet onto their second floor. (Man, I wish I had a gif of Clark Griswold doing that in Christmas Vacation.) This sounds like something that would be hilarious in a movie, with a foot sticking through the floorboards, the guy eventually crashing down with boards falling down too, only to have the actor cough a little, dust himself, and get up, amazed at what happened. Unfortunately, it didn't happen that way at all for any of these people. They suffered head injuries, loss of consciousness, collapsed lungs, internal bleeding, broken ankles, broken legs, dislocated shoulders, and even a finger amputation.
Attics- the new danger of the suburb.
Three, count 'em, three people who were spring cleaning their attics fell more than 10 feet onto their second floor. (Man, I wish I had a gif of Clark Griswold doing that in Christmas Vacation.) This sounds like something that would be hilarious in a movie, with a foot sticking through the floorboards, the guy eventually crashing down with boards falling down too, only to have the actor cough a little, dust himself, and get up, amazed at what happened. Unfortunately, it didn't happen that way at all for any of these people. They suffered head injuries, loss of consciousness, collapsed lungs, internal bleeding, broken ankles, broken legs, dislocated shoulders, and even a finger amputation.
Attics- the new danger of the suburb.
Saturday, June 1, 2013
LORs, PS, CV, and other acronyms & abbreviations
I'm writing my personal statement right now for my app, and I think it's pretty much done. It's not *done* done, but maybe 95% done. It won't be enter-it-into-the-application-done until all the people I admire eviscerate it and hand it back. I'm always so nervous about having mentors, peers, bosses, anyone I look up to, read my statement. I suppose its because I wrote it from the heart, thinking it sounds great, spilling some personal details about myself, only to be told it sucks and Augh, why would you think that drivel was any good at all! (well, not really, I've never been told it sucks, but I have been told one sounded way too much like a Grey's Anatomy episode. Ouch. Can I help it if I was a creative writer in a previous life?!)
So I'm waiting to hear back from at least four people right now before I'll say it's done. In the meantime, I'm working on my 15 experiences. There's two new ones since my last app, but they're so similar that I think it'd be best to combine them into one experience and use that as one of my "meaningful" experiences (damn, like I'm losing my application virginity or something.)
So I'm waiting to hear back from at least four people right now before I'll say it's done. In the meantime, I'm working on my 15 experiences. There's two new ones since my last app, but they're so similar that I think it'd be best to combine them into one experience and use that as one of my "meaningful" experiences (damn, like I'm losing my application virginity or something.)
Friday, May 31, 2013
Open letter to the writers of recommendation letters
Hello out there to the professors, doctors, teachers, bosses, mentors, supervisors, counselors, and advisors. If you are in the position of writing a letter of recommendation for someone, whether it be for medical school, college, graduate school, law school, dental school (what? as if!), vet school, or any other institution of higher learning, this note's for you.
There are some requests, humble requests if you will, that will make this arduous process a little better for everyone involved.
1) Please respond to our request for a letter.
Let me boost your ego a bit- you are a very special someone. There is a candidate out there who feels that your impression of them is awesome. They admire you, they feel you know them relatively well, and they must feel you're an articulate person. They love you. They need you. They WANT you. What do they want from you? To friggin' respond to their request! If you've been approached by someone asking you to write a letter for them, answer the email! Or the text, voicemail, smoke signal, whatever. Holy cow, if you hate Bob because he ate onion and garlic bagels every morning during speech class, and there's no way on God's green earth you would ever recommend him to law school, then send Bob an email letting him know you're too busy. Or that you're washing your hair. Or that you hate him for stinking up your damn classroom everyday, whatever, just respond to the email. Don't get on your mental high horse and look down your nose at the pitiful peasant begging for scraps of praise, mentally laughing about how you make him email you over and over again because you're in a position of power. I'll bet my last bagel that Bob knows you're busy- you don't need to remind him that you're an asshole too. It takes 10 seconds to respond. Here, let me help you with some templates:
"My apologies, I'm too busy right now, but I wish you all the best in grad school!"
"I'd love to, please send me your CV, personal statement, and anything you'd like me to address, along with your deadline."
2) Please write us an original letter. Please.
I know there are those candidates out there who asked for a recommendation from their bus driver because they were going for quantity over quality, but for the most part, people put a lot of thought into whom they approach for a letter. They incessantly wonder if the letter writer knows them well enough, would praise them enough, likes them enough, anything that would hint that they are able to telling a school that they are a good candidate. Those letters are important- they are supposed to describe us as potential students, doctors, lawyers, dentists (seriously, why?!), veterinarians, etc. So when you write the same letter for Bart as you do Lisa, the letter is totally worthless, and we become worthless to the school. The purpose of your letter, the time and effort that went into us tracking you down and bugging you for a reply all becomes for naught, and highly evident we should have asked someone else.
3) Please send the letter on time.
You are an awesome person- you said yes to the request and your student is beaming with pride that their professor thinks highly enough of them that they are getting a letter from their mentor! They mentally check off that letter, smile, and sit back and wait. And wait. Unfortunately, maybe they need to enter your name into a clearinghouse application and associate it with a number of potential schools. Maybe all other letters have been received besides yours, but they can't submit their app to the schools yet until yours arrives. Maybe their application just sits there forever, lying in wait like a virgin waiting for her husband, to where eventually that application becomes an old spinster with 30 cats. So for all that is holy, please, PLEASE send the letter on time.
Thank you for considering these requests. And continue to be proud that you influenced someone enough that they want YOUR recommendation. Keep up the good work, and keep on writing those letters.
There are some requests, humble requests if you will, that will make this arduous process a little better for everyone involved.
1) Please respond to our request for a letter.
Let me boost your ego a bit- you are a very special someone. There is a candidate out there who feels that your impression of them is awesome. They admire you, they feel you know them relatively well, and they must feel you're an articulate person. They love you. They need you. They WANT you. What do they want from you? To friggin' respond to their request! If you've been approached by someone asking you to write a letter for them, answer the email! Or the text, voicemail, smoke signal, whatever. Holy cow, if you hate Bob because he ate onion and garlic bagels every morning during speech class, and there's no way on God's green earth you would ever recommend him to law school, then send Bob an email letting him know you're too busy. Or that you're washing your hair. Or that you hate him for stinking up your damn classroom everyday, whatever, just respond to the email. Don't get on your mental high horse and look down your nose at the pitiful peasant begging for scraps of praise, mentally laughing about how you make him email you over and over again because you're in a position of power. I'll bet my last bagel that Bob knows you're busy- you don't need to remind him that you're an asshole too. It takes 10 seconds to respond. Here, let me help you with some templates:
"My apologies, I'm too busy right now, but I wish you all the best in grad school!"
"I'd love to, please send me your CV, personal statement, and anything you'd like me to address, along with your deadline."
2) Please write us an original letter. Please.
I know there are those candidates out there who asked for a recommendation from their bus driver because they were going for quantity over quality, but for the most part, people put a lot of thought into whom they approach for a letter. They incessantly wonder if the letter writer knows them well enough, would praise them enough, likes them enough, anything that would hint that they are able to telling a school that they are a good candidate. Those letters are important- they are supposed to describe us as potential students, doctors, lawyers, dentists (seriously, why?!), veterinarians, etc. So when you write the same letter for Bart as you do Lisa, the letter is totally worthless, and we become worthless to the school. The purpose of your letter, the time and effort that went into us tracking you down and bugging you for a reply all becomes for naught, and highly evident we should have asked someone else.
3) Please send the letter on time.
You are an awesome person- you said yes to the request and your student is beaming with pride that their professor thinks highly enough of them that they are getting a letter from their mentor! They mentally check off that letter, smile, and sit back and wait. And wait. Unfortunately, maybe they need to enter your name into a clearinghouse application and associate it with a number of potential schools. Maybe all other letters have been received besides yours, but they can't submit their app to the schools yet until yours arrives. Maybe their application just sits there forever, lying in wait like a virgin waiting for her husband, to where eventually that application becomes an old spinster with 30 cats. So for all that is holy, please, PLEASE send the letter on time.
Thank you for considering these requests. And continue to be proud that you influenced someone enough that they want YOUR recommendation. Keep up the good work, and keep on writing those letters.
Thursday, May 23, 2013
40 days deja vu
I have 40 days until my test (gee, I think I've written this before...) Anyway, it's all systems normal over here- me stressing out about the MCAT, refusing to study (for even my college class), allowing more and more responsibilities to pile up until I start to falter under their weight, etc. I'm trying to take baby steps, to do a little each day to get my ball rolling, but even that has fallen short- I've started doing more things around the house, not stuff for school. In the past few days I've done all the laundry, the dishes, and the neat-ening up that I can. I'm here at work, ready and able to study, but oh so NOT willing. Hence the blogging.
My test is on July 2, I leave on a road trip for grad school on Aug 3, and I start school on the 20th. I have no more time to procrastinate.
My test is on July 2, I leave on a road trip for grad school on Aug 3, and I start school on the 20th. I have no more time to procrastinate.
Saturday, May 4, 2013
I'm sick of working!
ARGH! I am working *again* this evening! I thought I had a whole weekend off- I had planned on basking in the spring weather, drinking a beer (or five), having some decent food that didn't come from a dingy fluorescent-lit cafeteria, maybe do a little yard work, etc. But NO! I'm here, again, at the hospital. I really shouldn't complain, as we really need the money, but I also really need a break. I'm tired and I miss my family.
Besides being tired, I've also developed the inability to concentrate and focus. I feel like my brain is moving at 100 mph and I can barely keep up with it. I rush to the end of sentences that I read, as if I'm in a race to get to the end. I don't comprehend anything, I can't remember what I read, and I rush through the material as if I'm being chased by a hungry lion. I can't sit still half the time- I tap my toes, shake my foot, or constantly play with my hair. I get esophageal spasms in the middle of the night, anxiety attacks while driving, and dizziness at least once a day. I've never really had these things before and it's pretty unsettling, not to mention highly contradictory to retaining important information. My best friend recommended going to my doctor to see if there's anything I can do about it all. He took some anti-anxiety meds for a few days when he was overwhelmed at work. I've never taken any kind of "mental" meds before and I'm extremely leery of doing so. Any thoughts out there?
Besides being tired, I've also developed the inability to concentrate and focus. I feel like my brain is moving at 100 mph and I can barely keep up with it. I rush to the end of sentences that I read, as if I'm in a race to get to the end. I don't comprehend anything, I can't remember what I read, and I rush through the material as if I'm being chased by a hungry lion. I can't sit still half the time- I tap my toes, shake my foot, or constantly play with my hair. I get esophageal spasms in the middle of the night, anxiety attacks while driving, and dizziness at least once a day. I've never really had these things before and it's pretty unsettling, not to mention highly contradictory to retaining important information. My best friend recommended going to my doctor to see if there's anything I can do about it all. He took some anti-anxiety meds for a few days when he was overwhelmed at work. I've never taken any kind of "mental" meds before and I'm extremely leery of doing so. Any thoughts out there?
Friday, May 3, 2013
I'm such a wuss
I changed the date again.
I feel your raised eyebrow and tsk-tsking head shaking. Don't judge me! I already know I'm a weakling who can't seem to stop working 60 hour weeks and fit in studying! In the month of April I probably worked about 250 hours. It was *insane*. I went for a few days at a time without seeing my son, I passed by my husband as I was either getting up when he was going to sleep, or vice versa, and I didn't leave the hospital for nearly 24 hours at one point. I actually started to hate the hospital, my pager, my email, and my scrubs. When my pager went off last weekend at midnight after already working a 14 hour day, I felt severe hatred towards my beeper tone- I figured that's what hell sounded like. To cap off the month from hell, I will end up working for 48 hours starting in 7 hours. When did I go crazy?!
And I'm not even a med student, much less a resident. I can't imagine how I will feel once I reach my intern year.
Ugh, I feel like a failure sometimes because I can't clear this hurdle. Anyone else out there able to commiserate?
I feel your raised eyebrow and tsk-tsking head shaking. Don't judge me! I already know I'm a weakling who can't seem to stop working 60 hour weeks and fit in studying! In the month of April I probably worked about 250 hours. It was *insane*. I went for a few days at a time without seeing my son, I passed by my husband as I was either getting up when he was going to sleep, or vice versa, and I didn't leave the hospital for nearly 24 hours at one point. I actually started to hate the hospital, my pager, my email, and my scrubs. When my pager went off last weekend at midnight after already working a 14 hour day, I felt severe hatred towards my beeper tone- I figured that's what hell sounded like. To cap off the month from hell, I will end up working for 48 hours starting in 7 hours. When did I go crazy?!
And I'm not even a med student, much less a resident. I can't imagine how I will feel once I reach my intern year.
Ugh, I feel like a failure sometimes because I can't clear this hurdle. Anyone else out there able to commiserate?
Monday, April 8, 2013
32 days left
Have 5 days really passed since I last posted? The stress is starting to get to me...
I've discovered that the more stressed I get, the more intolerant I get of self-absorbed behavior. I am a pretty laid-back person, completely 'water-off-a-duck's-back' type of person, a "meh" attitude if you will. But lately... I am just so frustrated and irritated by selfish behavior. For example, I park my car on the street in an urban housing area near a hospital; in other words, lots of people coming and going, many of whom probably don't live in the area, that they are visiting someone in the hospital. Maybe they bring their dog. Maybe they let said dog poo on the grass between the street and sidewalk. Maybe they are so upset with whatever they are dealing with at the hospital that they truly forget to pick up said poo, allowing passersby to step in it and smear it on their car carpet and pedals. TWICE within two weeks.
Annoyance Level: Orange
Continuing example: So I'm driving home (smelling dog shit the whole way) in the left-hand slow lane (the 2nd lane on a four-lane freeway) with no one in front or back of me. And as I approached passing a car in the furthest right lane, they put on their blinker and pull right in front of me.
Why???
They were going at least 5 mph slower than me, weren't passing any cars or obstacles, and could have easily waited until I passed. The only reason I could surmise in my head was that they simply wanted to move over. And did so without thought of fellow drivers.
Annoyance Level: Red
Continuing example that put me over the edge: By now I'm just about home and slowly cruising down my road when I see someone walking their dog on the side of the road. Without a leash. So I slow down more, keeping my eye on the dog, who in turn decides that my car is a threat that must be attacked. As I swerve to avoid hitting a leashless dog that is barking and running towards my tires, its owner just keeps walking along, watching it. At this point I wonder what she would do if I too just kept watching it... get run over. Now that I have come to a full stop, I give her an icy glare, which she returns, telling me to avoid her dog. Seriously?! Omg, I actually think steam came out my ears.
Annoyance Level: Exploded Thermometer
I just have zero tolerance anymore for selfish behavior. I see it all day, every day in the hospital- the diabetic who refuses to stop eating crap in spite of his kids only being pre-teens, the alcoholic who won't stop drinking, so her husband left, the drug addict with a new heart valve paid by the taxpayers, readmitted with endocarditis from continued IV drug use, etc. If people could just stop being self-absorbed assholes, that'd be great.
I've discovered that the more stressed I get, the more intolerant I get of self-absorbed behavior. I am a pretty laid-back person, completely 'water-off-a-duck's-back' type of person, a "meh" attitude if you will. But lately... I am just so frustrated and irritated by selfish behavior. For example, I park my car on the street in an urban housing area near a hospital; in other words, lots of people coming and going, many of whom probably don't live in the area, that they are visiting someone in the hospital. Maybe they bring their dog. Maybe they let said dog poo on the grass between the street and sidewalk. Maybe they are so upset with whatever they are dealing with at the hospital that they truly forget to pick up said poo, allowing passersby to step in it and smear it on their car carpet and pedals. TWICE within two weeks.
Annoyance Level: Orange
Continuing example: So I'm driving home (smelling dog shit the whole way) in the left-hand slow lane (the 2nd lane on a four-lane freeway) with no one in front or back of me. And as I approached passing a car in the furthest right lane, they put on their blinker and pull right in front of me.
Why???
They were going at least 5 mph slower than me, weren't passing any cars or obstacles, and could have easily waited until I passed. The only reason I could surmise in my head was that they simply wanted to move over. And did so without thought of fellow drivers.
Annoyance Level: Red
Continuing example that put me over the edge: By now I'm just about home and slowly cruising down my road when I see someone walking their dog on the side of the road. Without a leash. So I slow down more, keeping my eye on the dog, who in turn decides that my car is a threat that must be attacked. As I swerve to avoid hitting a leashless dog that is barking and running towards my tires, its owner just keeps walking along, watching it. At this point I wonder what she would do if I too just kept watching it... get run over. Now that I have come to a full stop, I give her an icy glare, which she returns, telling me to avoid her dog. Seriously?! Omg, I actually think steam came out my ears.
Annoyance Level: Exploded Thermometer
I just have zero tolerance anymore for selfish behavior. I see it all day, every day in the hospital- the diabetic who refuses to stop eating crap in spite of his kids only being pre-teens, the alcoholic who won't stop drinking, so her husband left, the drug addict with a new heart valve paid by the taxpayers, readmitted with endocarditis from continued IV drug use, etc. If people could just stop being self-absorbed assholes, that'd be great.
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
37 days left
I dreamt about oranges last night. According to a bunch of online dream dictionaries, its a sign of good health, fertility, or the oppressing inconvenience of going out of my way to achieve something. I wonder which it could be???
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
38 days left
I'm using the muli-pronged approach to sucking up as much info as I can- I'm using TBR, EK, and TPR for content and practice. I'm reading EK and TBR chapters for review, and then doing as many problems from TBR as I can without going cross-eyed. Speaking of which, last night I reached the point where I couldn't care less anymore about this test. I was sick of questions, tired of reading between the lines, fed up with examining every detail with a critical eye- its as if I were on a blind date. So I slammed the books shut, stormed off to my bed and promptly began to panic about having only 38 days left.
Monday, April 1, 2013
Sunday, March 31, 2013
40 days left
Happy Easter everyone! When my niece came from church we asked her what she learned- she said, "That he's coming for me." Ah, easter- the second zombie holiday of the year.
I got through 1 chapter of chemistry yesterday, after working, preparing for Easter, and doing household chores. I had to unexpectedly work today too, so I'm hoping to get through another chapter, plus the relevant questions.
I'm hoping this blog keeps me on track for studying, and I'll post my scores as I do practice problems and tests.
I got through 1 chapter of chemistry yesterday, after working, preparing for Easter, and doing household chores. I had to unexpectedly work today too, so I'm hoping to get through another chapter, plus the relevant questions.
I'm hoping this blog keeps me on track for studying, and I'll post my scores as I do practice problems and tests.
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