I'm nervous now. I get really worked up during the application cycle and everything worries me. Did I do enough to raise my GPA? Do I have enough extra-curriculars? Are my letters adequate? Is my personal statement stupid? Are my experiences unique or ridiculous? Will I get any interviews? Will I finally get an offer?
I compare myself way too much to other people who are applying- I'm stupider than that guy, I'm smarter than girl, but less experienced, that poor guy didn't get in and my GPA is worse, her MCAT score is one point higher and she didn't get in, etc. I hate it. I turn into a quivering mass of nerves, self-doubt, and mental tears.
I'm trying to study for the MCAT (24 days away!) and I panic at what I don't know. When a mentor picks apart my personal statement, I think I'm a moron. When I discuss my app with another mentor, I feel like an idiot for even thinking I'd get a spot. And it's not that I lack self- confidence, its just that I'm truly worse than nearly every other app out there- I have a shitty GPA and a mediocre MCAT score. I don't have a whole lot that separates me from the chaff. I go through highs of feeling like I have a chance, and then crushing lows where I cry that I'll never be a doctor.
I'm planning on being finished with my last college class on Wednesday and my app finished (and submitted) by Sunday. That will free me up mentally for nothin' but MCAT. Hopefully my last LORs and transcripts have arrived by next week, and then it'll be in the hands of the transcript examiners.
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