MCAT progress

I'm still here, still plugging away. I'm ashamed to say that I took a solid week (or two) off and just pretended like I was going to study. I couldn't muster up the strength to look at a book, much less read and (gasp) learn stuff.

So I'm cramming now. And I know it sounds weird to cram for something nearly 5 weeks away, but here I am. And I'm feeling like I can't concentrate, that anything I read falls out of a big hole in the back of my brain. I have trouble staying focused and I read the same sentence about 10 times sometimes.

To be honest, I feel like I'm at a solid 10 in each subject, perhaps 9 or 11 depending on the subject matter I would get. And that's not good enough. I want 11's. And the only way to get 11's is to learn more, study more, practice more. But I feel like there just isn't enough time. And I'm getting all panicky. Tonight I am up all night, and I've gotten through two TBR chapters' questions in about 3 hours- that includes going over the answers and learning more from those than from the material itself sometimes.

I am behind schedule, but I hope to be caught up at the beginning of the new year. I'm pushing myself harder than I have in the past few weeks, so that's something there, and I'm working up to pushing myself harder than I did for the first few weeks I was studying. I just feel like I've run out of time.



***Even though it seems out-of-place and just out of the blue, I have to express my incredible sadness at what happened in Connecticut today. I'll be honest, I cried when I heard. I don't personally know anyone affected and I don't want to imagine how searing the parents' pain is, but I do know how it feels to be a parent to an elementary-aged child, especially to one who was actually in school himself when it happened. My heart cries for those children and their families. I am so very sorry for their loss.