Open letter to the writers of recommendation letters

Hello out there to the professors, doctors, teachers, bosses, mentors, supervisors, counselors, and advisors. If you are in the position of writing a letter of recommendation for someone, whether it be for medical school, college, graduate school, law school, dental school (what? as if!), vet school, or any other institution of higher learning, this note's for you.

There are some requests, humble requests if you will, that will make this arduous process a little better for everyone involved.

1) Please respond to our request for a letter.

Let me boost your ego a bit- you are a very special someone. There is a candidate out there who feels that your impression of them is awesome. They admire you, they feel you know them relatively well, and they must feel you're an articulate person. They love you. They need you. They WANT you. What do they want from you? To friggin' respond to their request! If you've been approached by someone asking you to write a letter for them, answer the email! Or the text, voicemail, smoke signal, whatever. Holy cow, if you hate Bob because he ate onion and garlic bagels every morning during speech class, and there's no way on God's green earth you would ever recommend him to law school, then send Bob an email letting him know you're too busy. Or that you're washing your hair. Or that you hate him for stinking up your damn classroom everyday, whatever, just respond to the email. Don't get on your mental high horse and look down your nose at the pitiful peasant begging for scraps of praise, mentally laughing about how you make him email you over and over again because you're in a position of power. I'll bet my last bagel that Bob knows you're busy- you don't need to remind him that you're an asshole too. It takes 10 seconds to respond. Here, let me help you with some templates:

"My apologies, I'm too busy right now, but I wish you all the best in grad school!"

"I'd love to, please send me your CV, personal statement, and anything you'd like me to address, along with your deadline."

2) Please write us an original letter. Please.

I know there are those candidates out there who asked for a recommendation from their bus driver because they were going for quantity over quality, but for the most part, people put a lot of thought into whom they approach for a letter. They incessantly wonder if the letter writer knows them well enough, would praise them enough, likes them enough, anything that would hint that they are able to telling a school that they are a good candidate. Those letters are important- they are supposed to describe us as potential students, doctors, lawyers, dentists (seriously, why?!), veterinarians, etc. So when you write the same letter for Bart as you do Lisa, the letter is totally worthless, and we become worthless to the school. The purpose of your letter, the time and effort that went into us tracking you down and bugging you for a reply all becomes for naught, and highly evident we should have asked someone else.

3) Please send the letter on time.

You are an awesome person- you said yes to the request and your student is beaming with pride that their professor thinks highly enough of them that they are getting a letter from their mentor! They mentally check off that letter, smile, and sit back and wait. And wait. Unfortunately, maybe they need to enter your name into a clearinghouse application and associate it with a number of potential schools. Maybe all other letters have been received besides yours, but they can't submit their app to the schools yet until yours arrives. Maybe their application just sits there forever, lying in wait like a virgin waiting for her husband, to where eventually that application becomes an old spinster with 30 cats. So for all that is holy, please, PLEASE send the letter on time.

Thank you for considering these requests. And continue to be proud that you influenced someone enough that they want YOUR recommendation. Keep up the good work, and keep on writing those letters.

40 days deja vu

I have 40 days until my test (gee, I think I've written this before...) Anyway, it's all systems normal over here- me stressing out about the MCAT, refusing to study (for even my college class), allowing more and more responsibilities to pile up until I start to falter under their weight, etc. I'm trying to take baby steps, to do a little each day to get my ball rolling, but even that has fallen short- I've started doing more things around the house, not stuff for school. In the past few days I've done all the laundry, the dishes, and the neat-ening up that I can. I'm here at work, ready and able to study, but oh so NOT willing. Hence the blogging.

My test is on July 2, I leave on a road trip for grad school on Aug 3, and I start school on the 20th. I have no more time to procrastinate.

I'm sick of working!

ARGH! I am working *again* this evening! I thought I had a whole weekend off- I had planned on basking in the spring weather, drinking a beer (or five), having some decent food that didn't come from a dingy fluorescent-lit cafeteria, maybe do a little yard work, etc. But NO! I'm here, again, at the hospital. I really shouldn't complain, as we really need the money, but I also really need a break. I'm tired and I miss my family.

Besides being tired, I've also developed the inability to concentrate and focus. I feel like my brain is moving at 100 mph and I can barely keep up with it. I rush to the end of sentences that I read, as if I'm in a race to get to the end. I don't comprehend anything, I can't remember what I read, and I rush through the material as if I'm being chased by a hungry lion. I can't sit still half the time- I tap my toes, shake my foot, or constantly play with my hair. I get esophageal spasms in the middle of the night, anxiety attacks while driving, and dizziness at least once a day. I've never really had these things before and it's pretty unsettling, not to mention highly contradictory to retaining important information. My best friend recommended going to my doctor to see if there's anything I can do about it all. He took some anti-anxiety meds for a few days when he was overwhelmed at work. I've never taken any kind of "mental" meds before and I'm extremely leery of doing so. Any thoughts out there?

I'm such a wuss

I changed the date again.

I feel your raised eyebrow and tsk-tsking head shaking. Don't judge me! I already know I'm a weakling who can't seem to stop working 60 hour weeks and fit in studying! In the month of April I probably worked about 250 hours. It was *insane*. I went for a few days at a time without seeing my son, I passed by my husband as I was either getting up when he was going to sleep, or vice versa, and I didn't leave the hospital for nearly 24 hours at one point. I actually started to hate the hospital, my pager, my email, and my scrubs. When my pager went off last weekend at midnight after already working a 14 hour day, I felt severe hatred towards my beeper tone- I figured that's what hell sounded like. To cap off the month from hell, I will end up working for 48 hours starting in 7 hours. When did I go crazy?!

And I'm not even a med student, much less a resident. I can't imagine how I will feel once I reach my intern year.

Ugh, I feel like a failure sometimes because I can't clear this hurdle. Anyone else out there able to commiserate?

32 days left

Have 5 days really passed since I last posted? The stress is starting to get to me...

I've discovered that the more stressed I get, the more intolerant I get of self-absorbed behavior. I am a pretty laid-back person, completely 'water-off-a-duck's-back' type of person, a "meh" attitude if you will. But lately... I am just so frustrated and irritated by selfish behavior. For example, I park my car on the street in an urban housing area near a hospital; in other words, lots of people coming and going, many of whom probably don't live in the area, that they are visiting someone in the hospital. Maybe they bring their dog. Maybe they let said dog poo on the grass between the street and sidewalk. Maybe they are so upset with whatever they are dealing with at the hospital that they truly forget to pick up said poo, allowing passersby to step in it and smear it on their car carpet and pedals. TWICE within two weeks.

Annoyance Level: Orange

Continuing example: So I'm driving home (smelling dog shit the whole way) in the left-hand slow lane (the 2nd lane on a four-lane freeway) with no one in front or back of me. And as I approached passing a car in the furthest right lane, they put on their blinker and pull right in front of me.

Why???

They were going at least 5 mph slower than me, weren't passing any cars or obstacles, and could have easily waited until I passed. The only reason I could surmise in my head was that they simply wanted to move over. And did so without thought of fellow drivers.

Annoyance Level: Red

Continuing example that put me over the edge: By now I'm just about home and slowly cruising down my road when I see someone walking their dog on the side of the road. Without a leash. So I slow down more, keeping my eye on the dog, who in turn decides that my car is a threat that must be attacked. As I swerve to avoid hitting a leashless dog that is barking and running towards my tires, its owner just keeps walking along, watching it. At this point I wonder what she would do if I too just kept watching it... get run over. Now that I have come to a full stop, I give her an icy glare, which she returns, telling me to avoid her dog. Seriously?! Omg, I actually think steam came out my ears.

Annoyance Level: Exploded Thermometer

I just have zero tolerance anymore for selfish behavior. I see it all day, every day in the hospital- the diabetic who refuses to stop eating crap in spite of his kids only being pre-teens, the alcoholic who won't stop drinking, so her husband left, the drug addict with a new heart valve paid by the taxpayers, readmitted with endocarditis from continued IV drug use, etc. If people could just stop being self-absorbed assholes, that'd be great.

37 days left

I dreamt about oranges last night. According to a bunch of online dream dictionaries, its a sign of good health, fertility, or the oppressing inconvenience of going out of my way to achieve something. I wonder which it could be???

38 days left

I'm using the muli-pronged approach to sucking up as much info as I can- I'm using TBR, EK, and TPR for content and practice. I'm reading EK and TBR chapters for review, and then doing as many problems from TBR as I can without going cross-eyed. Speaking of which, last night I reached the point where I couldn't care less anymore about this test. I was sick of questions, tired of reading between the lines, fed up with examining every detail with a critical eye- its as if I were on a blind date. So I slammed the books shut, stormed off to my bed and promptly began to panic about having only 38 days left.